I Wish I Could Eat That!

Some folk are simply fussy. Hard to please and lacking any sense of adventure where food is concerned. Too bad for them; if they don't like what's on the table, they can order out!

On the other hand, a lot of us, yours truly included, would dearly love to eat whatever is on the table, but can't because we're lactose intolerant. That means our bodies don't produce the digestive enzyme needed to digest the milk sugar, lactose. I really, really want to eat pizza, lasagna, cheese fries and ice cream, but my body says, "Absolutely not!"

Worldwide, a full 75% of adults have problems digesting dairy products and the number seems to be growing.  Butter, cream sauces and soups, cheese and cheese products, ice cream and any desserts containing milk, cream or butter (virtually all pastries!) could make us suddenly and violently ill. Please do not press a guest to "just taste a bite." That one taste really is not worth hours of abdominal distress.

On one unfortunate occasion, in spite of explaining my limitations ahead of time, a hostess had prepared a cheesy one-dish meal with no other options.  I sat nibbling dry bread, tantalized by the aroma of what everyone else was devouring. Whether I was more miserable than the hostess was hard to tell, but I know I was hungrier! Avoid such disaster by keeping a few emergency rations on hand; here are a few simple suggestions:

Main dish replacements:

> In the freezer, keep a few chicken breasts and/or sirloin patties, kosher beef hot dogs, kosher salami, or perhaps a salmon fillet.  In case a guest (literally) cannot stomach your famous Lasagna or Chicken Parmesan, any of these can be quickly defrosted and tossed on the grill at the last minute.
Sides:

> Quick cooking plain rice and baking potatoes (white or sweet) belong in everybody's pantry.  Canned fruit or vegetables (without butter) and salad fixings (without cheese or creamy dressing) are other staples that can create the illusion that you planned a special dinner for your lactase-impaired friend.

Dessert:

> Oreos might be "Milk's Favorite Cookie," but they happen to be made without any dairy products.  Other packaged cookies can be kept on hand along with a pint of dairy-free fruit sorbet tucked away in the freezer. Haagen-Daz has an excellent product. Stick it in an empty freezer bag labeled "spinach," and it might still be there when you need it. 

Also good to have:

> A quart box of soy or almond milk requires no refrigeration and can be used as a drink mixer, coffee creamer or in any recipe calling for milk.
> A can or two of coconut milk, which nicely replaces cream. 
> Kosher margarine to replace butter.

Aside from that container of soy milk, there's probably nothing on this list that is a stranger to your kitchen. Just like that little box of artificial sweetener and the jar of Coffee-mate, even if we don't use them ourselves, it doesn't hurt to keep them on hand for guests. Who knows? A frozen burger and a box of Oreos could save your next party from catastrophe.


copyright Starr Luteri 2009